I guess I'm going crazy.I don't know why it just came to my head.I wake up every night to a darkness.I sleep to a nightmare of a ghost.Wake up every morning to hear not a greeting but a command. can't even get though 1/4 of my horlicks and I'm interupted. I'm changing not just physically, but mentally.I'm no longer mentally hinged.Am i rising too fast in position?Am i good enough to live up to everyone's expectations?Am i just trying to do everything by myself that in the process i've pushed away every one that cares for me and become the thing i've most feared-a burntout boy?.................................BUT I CAN'T BURN OUT, NEVER! THERE'S SO MANY THINGS TO DO AND EVERY ONE'S RELYING ON ME! THE WORLD OUT THERE NEEDS SOMEONE TO HELP IT! I'VE GOT TO DO IT! I CAN DO IT! I WILL DO IT!!! WATCH OUT SATAN!! SOMEDAY I'LL ....NO WAIT I HAVE ALREADY BEEN BROKEN FROM CHAINS OF DESPAIR! AND I'M GOING TO TAKE THE GOSPEL TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH AND SHOW THE PEOPLE AND TELL THEM ABOUT JESUS!!!




[if you want to comment on this post, fell free to do so. getting an opinion from others is always good for me...]

currently excited about youth camp
bored about math
exhausted about making stupid vids with my cuz
disappointed about my under-performance in pl-ship and lcd-ing
anxious about apr jamboree
suspense-ed about creative workshop[we get to wear tuxedos hehe]
that's all bbye...

I think I'm becoming a workaholic, without things to do for the day, it feels like i'm wasting my holidays . I need something to do!!!!!I've got nothing to do!!!!!every second brings me closer to school!!!!!!

Very undecided.Should I go for Scouts 101 camp?Or AYC 09?Still thinking....

*This is a promotional message,Home's cafe new menu is out. Please come and try*
*Yip's blog is updated!It's a good read!Check it out!*
*Poems of the not so famous updated!*

exam coming..still got time to blog....this post is for the people I have misjudged,wrongly thought of and falsely accused....
Eugene, whom I thought was a kwai lan kia is actually a dude[genius] who showed me that I still am not the best of the best
Donovan,whom I thought had no respect for friends,is actually making me see my mistakes more clearly so I don't slack off
Hui Shern,whom I thought was a really dumb boy,is actually teaching me that not everyone can see things the way I do
Chern Zhen,whom I thought was annoying,is showing me that curiosity is in everyone
Bernard,whom I thought was gay,is showing me that being bold with your talents invites persecution and going through it requires strength,LOTS of it

Thank you all and sorry for treating you guys wrongly....

Finally so long already didn't update.so here I am with an update on....

JOTA JOTI 09!

It was my first time being in subcamp......

Panthera!

It was a great camp and a great experience for all of us.We built a lot of gadgets made new friends and did other stuff.I nearly didn't sleep throughout the whole camp so now very tired lo.We didn't win a lot of prizes this year, but we did win:best yell, challenge trophy for JOTI and best papan ikatan. overall it was a fun camp.Got very little pics but too lazy to post up now...

Now I got a problem.My members asked me on XSD whether I liked patrol 1 better or theirs better cos' before I was patrol leader I was from patrol 1.I told them that I liked patrol 1 better but since I'm with them now,we're a patrol and it's a new beginning for all of us.However patrol 1 will always be my first patrol and nothing can change that....

nothing to do so took some pics.dat's all

Haven't had the time for anything these days.hols have started.first time in my entire life at school i get to take it easy during holidays.Xavierian Scout's Day coming up. ever since my promotion to PL things have gotten a lot harder but i'll manage.oh yeah !I met yip wayne on Friday for basketball.after that I took him to angel cafe.He was literally gobbling on Malaysian food.and yeah there's this cool pic which everyone's crazy about and I took it!check it out:

finally got time to update.so stressed lately.update on journeys to come up soon

Very emo lately,down with flu,fever and other stuff,
exam tomorrow,not ready
don't know will fail or not
thinking of getting my patrol to go camping in a casual manner to learn scouting skills more effectively,
that's just me,
being myself

If only....

I saw her today,after so many years,when that happened,we looked at each other in the eyes,I knew what she wanted,she wanted me to run to her and say hello and I wanted to do the same thing.But alas,I could go no further,for between me and her stood a wall,a wall made up of parents,ages and priorities.Why?why is this happening to us?After that, my heart shattered in a million pieces just like before.If only life was so beautiful,like those HSM movies,where we shall someday be together forever and ever.I now wonder if she is thinking along the same lines now...

If only I had worked harder,prepared myself better,learned more,accepted more help,I would have got it,that backwoodsman badge,now I may never get a shot at it again.It looks like I'll never be like him...

Years ago,I said to the problem,right in the face,"I never want to see you again",.But here I am, staring in its face, again, twice this year,even though I said I would never see it again,it's over...

today was okay,I know it's unusual to blog early in the afternoon.won't be going to youth tonight .instead will be going to peng hua st. john c&g.dono why they invite our school since it's a st. john event but we're scouts.aiyah nevermindlah just go la.

My Best Friend

His name is Yip Wayne,He's one of the friends I 'll never forget all my life.He was always there to talk to me about something even though I used to bully him with my old gang.We ate the same meals,Talked about the same things and shared our dreams.before I met him,I didn't know and want a best friend because I used to think friends tied me down.after being best friends with him,I was tied down,when he left and stuff but now I see the joy of having a best friend.cheers to you,wayne and God bless you.

Love you guys....

P.S. It's not a gay statement.....

One thing I got to remember,never go to assembly point early....
Want to know why?I just beat up a friend and called someone a f***ing bastard.
It always happens when I go to assembly point early,

Quotable Quotes

Her are some quotes that I got over the years:

"You can't serve God unless you can serve people"Pastor Victor

"Sometimes people call themselves Christians but don't live a Christian."Daniel Song

"When you hate yourself,you give out hatred even though you don't mean it"my mother

"When you do something,do it with your heart and soul"Mr. Liang

"It is your duty as Lasallians to keep the tradition alive"Mr. Liang

"It is time to get back on track for we have been slacking off for too long"Mr. Liang

"Genius is a gift not a priveliege"Dr. Octavious

"You don't need to prove yourself or earn God's love it's free"Pastor Victor[the words aren't exactly the same but it's something like that"

"The fig trees are weak coverings for your sin"Alex

"God doesn't say'I'll show the way then you go',He says'Go and I'll show you the way' "
Forgotten who said it

"You're scouts!Don't disgrace the name of scouts and the badge that you're wearing"Forgot who said it

"Love is patient it can wait"Pastor Victor

But the most unique quote I got was during everything I was doing,especially during altar calls.Here's how it sounds like:

"Take My hand Jin Ji and I'll be with you and guide you"Holy Spirit

Last batch finally:

No pastor!don't eat it!!!

First time seeing chicks [for them I think]

Pastor Victor and Pastor Sumping

The girls getting their hats

Us with our hats


Us and Aunty Rama's birthday surprise

hi more photos:

Pastor's chicken backside for supper

Maktab Injil Borneo[or something like that...]

The girls at the river

the most memorable expirience for me,translating.

breakfast moodThe girls at the waterfall.[before I went in and all of us climbed up the rocks]

Combined dance presentation

Drama[nuff said,I think...]

hi y'all.lazy to write you can read about what happened in sarawak in pastor's new blog.here are photos:

hahaha nothing wrong just friendly pic.I look kinda retarded that way

sharon and her new shoes

the girls at the airport

the cutest boy I have ever met,Aaron.

Pastor and our driver, Richard
SIB Pengalih.it has no walls hehe..

Actually I have more but now very lazy maybe nextime....

Exam is over!!!Well that's about it for school,but this post is dedicated to my crew on our first meeting!!!Wooohoooo!!

We are the,RPG crew!

Bboy Ghost

Specialty:breakdance

Bboy Hollow

Specialty:Beatboxing

Bboy Skull

Specialty:Liquid

Bboy Spirit

Specialty:Choreography and Technical

Well, actually,we can do all the stuff but it's just a specialty that's all.For videos,go to facebook.

my counsel to you,chee liang

Chee Liang,if you're reading this post,I just want you to know that I'm sorry for not helping you in the exercises in tuition.However,I just want you to read this.You see,a lot of successful or clever people you see today have all been through humiliation,pain,suffering and abuse,just like what you're going through now.I myself have been through all of these things and the scars on my heart are uncountable.But if I have not been through these things I won't be what I am today.I was scolded and ridiculed in classes,and I used to be like you too but humiliation,when responded to in a right way,humbles a person and this will cause all of us to see our mistakes so much more clearly.This way,we can improve ourselves better.

If you find the pain too unbearable,talk to your parents,or those close to you.Even better,talk to God.I know you're not a christian,but you can know more about Jesus if you want,you can just ask me.He went through more humiliation and pain than all of us,so I'm sure He will understand all our problems.So, don't worry,just take it like a man and someday,you'll be able to succeed.one more thing,you're not alone because no man is an island.You'll have your parents,your friends,me and God to help you should you face any problems.So once again I apologize for being unable to help you cos' it's a test.signing out now.....

If you want to drop a comment,just tag smallplace[that small cbox on the top right corner]

Hey people!here's a video I made of my sivik project.





























Which has a problem uploading.I'll post it once I learn how.In the meantime,wait.

hey whats up?planning to get a cbox soon[dono why]aaaaand i won't sleep til 3in the morning [maybe later] but one thing's for sure...























keep scrolling....























patience....




























I'M GONNA PARTY ALL NIGHT!

RANDOM!RANDOMM!here are some random photos:

not much are they?Well I'm not much of a photographer[sorry he he]

Today,I'm dead,I'm pissed off,I'm so in trouble.trust me people,mid year is the worst period of the year

I know,I know my blog is very uninteresting to read coz' I got no photos.They'll be coming soon,just wait.

Whew,campfire was veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery tiring and I missed the campfire again!It was the right place at the wrong time last year but this year it was at the wrong place at the right time this year!wonder what will happen next year?hmmmmm.....

Hi everybody!sorry for the updateless week of my blog.anyways holidays past so fast.went to island plaza for the book fair and bought a ton of books! anyways bye gotta sleep now

Wow back from revolution penang[to all of you who missed it,it's okay there's still next year].anyways I got an album from acts church!still listening to it,it rocks,seriously

I sure miss cellgroup and youth.It's only been 2 weeks and I've already felt like it's 2 months.My face is getting better now but my arm is getting worse.The good thing is,my BM essays suddenly became long winded like my English ones.currently saving up well for a video camera I wanted to buy.RM3 a day is a great rate.I'll have enough money by the end of next year![remember,patience is a virtue]

Finally I'm back from SSTC.Very tired,blacker,uglier,stronger,smarter,more experienced.That's what I think.Welcome back me!

Hello,I am feeling really artistic today coz'I just wrote a poem.Here it is:

Things just keep flowing by,

The world moves on,

Endless moving,endless working

Tears,sweat and blood,

How abundant are they now!

Where were our days?

Full of youth and joy,

As time continues,

Joy fades,

Leaving people stranded,

In a pit of sorrow.

But there is hope!

Hope in the light!

Hope that never fades nor wanes,

Hope that endures,

Hope that loves,

That hope is the cross,

Through Jesus,

Joy was revived,

The dead were restored,

Trough Jesus,

Solace and rest came,

And the world was rescued.

We can make the world slow again,

If we find Jesus,

So look!

Be vigilant!

Eyes peeled!

On the lookout for the Lord!

So we can run to Him!

Encounter Him!

And find rest in Him!

To continue the life and work,

He has given to us.

Matthew 28:19

Go and make disciples of all nations,baptizing them in the name of the Father,the Son and the Holy Spirit,

Today I didn't go to church again cos' I got studying.things were not as confusing as last time but now towards the end of the day,I got a nasty headache!oh,man.Anyways[says cheerfully]I finally finished the welcome banner!take a look

We need God

today I didn't go to church cos' I got a test on next Monday so I stayed home to study but it felt like the day was in confusion and I studied but everything didn't seem to go like a day.It was like living in a dream,wandering aimlessly.So it just goes to show that we need to go to church even though we have exams.[to my mom reading this post,no rebellion intended]

well planned day

Oh yeah today was a well planned day.I even managed to finish my entry for youthwave's logo design comp in 15 minutes!

today's activities:
0900,went to chuch
1300,Lunch
1400,cut hair.noooo!
1500,home and[sigh] homework
1730,LOGO DESIGNING!
1800,Gym time
2030,dinner
2130,UNDERWORLD 3!

HELP PLEASE!

As the title has stated above,I need help!Me and some of the fireBRANDS are going on a mission trip to Sarawak so to all of you who is reading this post please pray for us ok?thank you

HaHaHa my nuggets rule!can you believe it,we went to 1 class and we sold more than 40 packets!HaHaHa.....

I will worship You my God[x2].as I sang that song in youth,I thought to myself "what have I done that reflects my worship to God?"And when pastor talked about examining our ways,it made me think even more so I said to myself and God"God,take control of everything .it is better to be a puppet or a pawn of God ".the whole time during the service question after question came racing into my mind.and when alex talked about not making any promises to God,it added to the confusion.what then is the answer?is determination counted as promises?is the fire that flares up in my mind to do God's will stupid,meaningless and reckless proclaimations?only time will tell......

Yeah I know my blog looks dead,I look dead everything looks dead.

man,I got lots of angpows.up to 300 bucks!

[just playing with alignment moving on]

Wow!today's beach day was totally awesome!i loved wrestling the best[oh yeah]

At last,atlastatlastatlast[x1234567890] I get to update my blog after 10000 years!yeah school is exciting and I'll be seeing ken jeen in scouts tomorrow[yeah you heard right,he's eu jeen's brother.I was surprised.I thought he would join red crescent.]woohoo[sorry no pics,again]

Ever wondered whether the world is moving too fast for you?I did.

Holidays,so quickly come,

so quickly go

no chance to really experience.

haaaih...

before you know it,

you're one year older

For me,I'll be showing

new form 1 hopefuls

the ropes around the co-op.

I wonder how long will it feel like

before I leave school

hmmm....

no posts today.....hey!isn't this a post?[??]

man, I got a shock of my life today.PASTOR VICTOR ASKED ME TO GO TO A YOUTH LEADERS MEETING TOMORROW AND I'M NOT EVEN A YOUTH LEADER!ARRRGH!WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?ARRRRRGH.......