came back from fast and prayer...lessons learnt on how to manage ayc teams: don't yell, respect control yourself and scout law number 9.

THANKS NICOLE LINN JOHN!!! you've been awesome help, patient leader and cool headed....sorry i'm not able to do much though.

holidays are here, and i'm saying what all adults say. "I wish i could enjoy long holidays like schoolkids". But guess what? I'm only 15 going on 16 next year. scouting will take up 50% of my hols, youth camp will take up 40%. leaving me with 10%, which is ....one week. WHat a sad holiday.

sigh....you know everyone.....if you're out there.....reading this.....you're not alone, you've got every reason to feel sad but no reason to continue.....can you? will you give in? listen to your heart beat and the smiles of everyone around you.....can you see it? you're not in resident evil.....you're in the real world....where you're given a blessing and a curse.....company.

fear you say? jumping up a fountain but not reaching like a salmon? jump harder.....know if it is touchable, it is reachable......

hate you say? can you live? you say it sustains you? it's eating you away....leaving nothing but ash on what you thought was you.....

be faithful.....my son.....for there is no great reward without even greater suffering

Finally jota over.....now sivik and rocket.....it's time to get busy
'A Thousand Suns' by Linkin Park ain't very good, sounds like they just made it for fun....

PMR 3days left.....

contrary to the title of this bloog....I haven't been running a lot.....which explains me getting fatter....

Sometimes I just get the feeling that hate is coursing through my veins.......reflections on my past mistakes......they just never seem to go away.....when you pride yourself with something........it just disappears.......leaving guilt, shame and blood.......I wonder.......will I be able to do better for everyone who is relying on me? Expectations? Then I see that vision again....alone.....and the place I thought I would find friends........turns out no one is my friend......looks like a destiny for me....alone, with only God's love and mercy against all challenges.....then I ask myself......will God leave me too? My mistakes and wrongdoings have made a shadow over my success.....this is it....my road..... where there is no one.....

Moving on now...

cross country: Beat my personal time (8km in 42 min.)

Scouts: doing great

ed board: Doing great too

Coop: Also great

I tend to think a lot these days, like merlin . Although I do prefer the M.K. Hume's version of King Arthur/Artor/Arotrex. Her version is more realistic, more life like. =]
Xiew May's the Assistant Company Leader now, hope she'll do well.
Missing out on fireBRANDS, gotta make a choice between them and scouts and everything else.
Geography's getting better, i can answer questions no sweat now =].
Found my old toy knife =].
Finished the counquerer series of Genghis Khan by Conn Igguldden. It's really good and something that tweaks your imagination.
More reading of sejarah [ I love it =] ]
Stress levels decreasing.
KK night coming.
Thank You..... You've done a lot but I've never appreciated it....forgive my iniquity....cos there's just too much.....

wow, so long didn't update and got people spamming my cbox d. but now i'm back and i'm ready to rock and roll. april came and went. i made myself a promise: to rewrite history. mr. Liang said never before an active scout has taken up the role of the editor but i'm gonna prove him wrong and when i succeed, there's the reward, so i'm going all out and i'm gonna surpass chern zhong in ed board. it's hard but i gotta do it. i've to prove a lot of people wrong this year, hope i can do it. may was stressful with folios and stuff and i've started practising for SMI mid years here d. june just arrived and mid year just passed...today i'm resting.....tomorrow....work time =]

wow it's been a long march. i quit and came back. thank God for those awesome guys at 7gtn. even though i let them down, they still called me back. thanks Chern Zhong, Ah Yang and all the other ventures who helped me through. thanks....

Ever wondered why things go awfully wrong when they seem so right?

Scouting is one of the best things that happened to me...

Was it real?
Of course it was

Why do I feel so alone?
Stop pushing people away

I had someone to talk to but she was taken out of my life.
It's just hard to accept it now

I've fallen
Get up

I made the wrong choice
You just haven't got used to it

There's so many things i wish i didn't do
Too late for regrets, move on

Am i loved?
You are you just don't accept it

Thank you Jesus, for the Holy Spirit....

It comes with a heavy price.....

I'm back from jamboree.those few days were very fun. I got tomeet new people, swap badges and other stuff.will explain more later.photos on facebook......